It hits you quietly at first.
You’re standing in the kitchen, cutting grapes in half, reheating your coffee for the third time, mentally running through what’s next — laundry, snack, nap, meltdown, maybe a walk if the weather holds. Your toddler tugs at your pants. You smile. Of course you smile.
But in that soft, exhausted moment, a quiet ache rises in your chest:
Where did I go?
Motherhood is beautiful. It’s a privilege. It’s a miracle. But it can also be a slow unraveling. Piece by piece, your old self — the reader, the dreamer, the thinker, the woman who had opinions and playlists and actual hot coffee — fades into the background.
And some days, you miss her terribly.
If you’ve ever felt this ache — the longing for the self that existed before mom became your whole identity — this post is for you.
You don’t need a plane ticket, a weekend alone, or even a perfect plan to come back home to yourself.
Sometimes, all it takes is the right book.
Below are five soul-deep, honest, compassionate reads that were written for women like you — women raising humans while trying not to lose their own.
Each one is a hand on your shoulder, a flashlight on the path, a mirror that gently says, “She’s still in there. Let’s go get her.”
As an Amazon Associate, I earn from qualifying purchases
1. “I Miss You When I Blink” by Mary Laura Philpott
“You don’t have to have a breakdown to make a break for it.”
Mary Laura Philpott’s memoir-in-essays is like coffee with a friend who sees right through your “I’m fine” smile. It’s a book for women who “checked all the boxes” — education, career, marriage, kids — only to wake up feeling hollow inside. Not because they’re ungrateful. But because something vital got buried under all the roles they’re expected to play.
Philpott writes with humor and grace about the silent identity crises many moms face, and she’s refreshingly honest about the truth: sometimes, the life you built with so much care… doesn’t fit you anymore.
Why this book helps:
This isn’t about blowing up your life or escaping your family. It’s about giving yourself permission to shift, stretch, and become something more honest. It’s for the woman who wants to feel seen without being judged — who needs to know she’s not the only one feeling this way.
2. “Untamed” by Glennon Doyle
“When a woman finally learns that pleasing the world is impossible, she becomes free to learn how to please herself.”
You’ve probably heard of this one — maybe it sat on your nightstand for months. But if you haven’t read it yet (or if you read it in survival mode), now is the time.
“Untamed” is Glennon Doyle’s rally cry to women who feel trapped in lives that look perfect on the outside but feel suffocating inside. She shares her own radical awakening — leaving a “successful” marriage, rebuilding her life, learning how to trust the voice inside her.
But here’s why it hits differently when you’re a mom:
Glennon doesn’t ask you to abandon your kids or your responsibilities. She invites you to wake up for them. To live honestly, so they learn how. To stop shrinking, so they learn to expand.
Her writing is poetic, raw, and full of moments that will make you whisper “yes” out loud.
Why this book helps:
This is the book that reminds you your inner knowing isn’t gone — it’s just quiet. It’s buried under “shoulds,” expectations, and mom guilt. Reading Untamed is like striking a match in the dark.
Untamed: Reese's Book Club
- Author: Glennon Doyle.Glennon Doyle Melton.
- Publisher: The Dial Press
- Pages: 352
List Price :
Offer: 11.52
Go to Amazon3. “The Gifts of Imperfection” by Brené Brown
“Owning our story and loving ourselves through that process is the bravest thing that we’ll ever do.”
Let’s be real: motherhood is full of shame traps.
You lost your patience. You forgot the field trip. You stopped breastfeeding “too soon.” You’re doing screen time again. You don’t even know what dinner is tonight.
Brené Brown, the queen of vulnerability research, writes about what it takes to live a wholehearted life — one where you are deeply connected to yourself, not despite your imperfections, but because of them.
This book is a grounding force for moms who feel like they’re failing at the unrealistic standard of “perfect mother.”
Why this book helps:
Brené gives you language and tools to quiet the shame voice in your head and replace it with compassion. She reminds you that you are enough — even on the days you forget library books, yell, and serve boxed mac and cheese. It’s a reminder that real connection comes from being real — not from being perfect.
4. “Mom Enough: The Fearless Mother’s Heart and Hope” by Desiring God Contributors
“Motherhood is not the end of womanhood, but a window into it.”
Sometimes, the ache of motherhood isn’t just about missing your old life. It’s about trying to make sense of the new one. The exhaustion. The beauty. The sacrifices that go unnoticed. The love that splits you open.
This short book — a collection of essays from Christian mothers — speaks directly to the tension of feeling both lost and found in motherhood. It doesn’t pretend to solve your chaos. Instead, it validates the sacredness of your everyday sacrifices.
Why this book helps:
If your spiritual life has felt dry or disconnected since becoming a mom, Mom Enough can be a gentle re-entry point. It doesn’t guilt you for not being a “Proverbs 31 woman.” It simply whispers truth: God sees you. Your work matters. You haven’t disappeared.
5. “Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle” by Emily and Amelia Nagoski
“You are not broken. You live in a broken system.”
You might be thinking: I don’t need a motivational book. I need a nap.
Fair enough.
But this book isn’t a motivational pep talk. It’s a manual — one that finally explains why moms feel so fried, even when they’re doing “everything right.”
The Nagoski sisters dive deep into the biology of stress, explaining how emotional burnout happens — and more importantly, how to complete the stress cycle so your body can actually recover.
They cover everything from invisible labor and gendered expectations to resentment and rage (yep, they go there). But they do it with warmth, research, and a whole lot of practical advice.
Why this book helps:
If you feel like you’re running on fumes but can’t slow down, this book will meet you exactly where you are. You’ll walk away with real tools to protect your energy, communicate your needs, and stop the spiral of martyrdom we’re all taught to praise.
A Final Word (From One Mom to Another)
There is no shame in getting lost for a while.
Motherhood, especially in the early years, is disorienting. You’re rebuilding your identity while sleep-deprived and touched-out. You’re doing sacred work, but most days it feels invisible. You’re loving so hard your heart hurts, and at the same time wondering when you’ll get a moment just to think.
So if you feel like a stranger to yourself, here’s the truth:
You’re not broken. You’re becoming.
And books — the right books — can act like trail markers through the forest. They don’t fix everything. But they can help you remember your voice. Your story. Your power.
So pick one. Just one. Ten pages at a time. In the bath. On the toilet (no shame). While the baby naps or the big kids build a fort.
Let these words hold you.
You haven’t disappeared.
You’re just on the path back to yourself — and these pages are waiting.
🛍️ Where to Start (Picks for Busy Moms):
Here’s a quick recap of the books mentioned above — all available on Amazon:
- I Miss You When I Blink – Mary Laura Philpott
- Untamed – Glennon Doyle
- The Gifts of Imperfection – Brené Brown
- Mom Enough – Desiring God Contributors
- Burnout – Emily & Amelia Nagoski
